2020 had a devastating impact on peoples minds. With the looming threat of the Coronavirus, the crippling anxiety that comes with lockdown and the developments that came with it, whether that’s changes in schooling or job loss—people from all over the world were crying out for help and struggling to receive any.
For me, the idea of isolation isn’t a new concept. When going back home and into lockdown in March it felt as though I’d been training for this moment throughout the majority of my teenage years-not leaving the house and having limited contact with people besides my parents is most certainly not out of my norm. And yet, despite the fact I was going back to the home I’d been craving for since I left it 7 months prior, I felt a pit in my stomach at the thought of leaving. Because although I couldn’t see it then, in hindsight I now realise that those months of being out in the world on my own, I’d changed an immense amount.
Moving away from home and no longer having a support system to lean back on I was forced to do things for myself. Suffering from anxiety for most of my life, going outside for me has always felt like I'm charging into a battle, but instead of bloody warfare it’s trying to convince myself that, ‘no, that person on the other side of the road isn’t judging you for the way you walk’. Although pretty rudimentary errands like going to the shop are at most minor inconveniences to the majority of people my age, just doing that felt like I had accomplished something extraordinary. Through being on my own I was able to grow so much in my anxiety, I pushed myself to do things I’d have never done just months before without relying on others as a fallback.
I came to understand that the biting fear in the back of my head was the subconscious realisation that all the progress I had made, no matter how minute, was being jolted to a stop. I was going back into isolation both physically and mentally. It felt like I was regressing. Regressing back to a girl who had to take a 20 minute detour because a car was coming when she tried to cross the road and the idea of the person in said car thinking she… I don’t know, crossed the road wrong? Well, that was just too much to handle. No matter how much I was used to isolating myself I knew that this time it could be detrimental to my mental health. I mean, according to Spotify my most listened to song during lockdown was by Elliott Smith and if that doesn’t tell you what state my head was in nothing will.
And I wasn’t the only person who’s mental health was hit during the lockdowns. Not by a long shot. In a study by University College London, Imperial College, and the University of Sussex, almost half of 16-24 year olds (without previous mental health issues) reported high levels of depressive symptoms during lockdown, with one in three experiencing severe levels of anxiety. Mental health charity YoungMinds found that 80% of teens and young adults said Covid has made their mental wellbeing worse, and 87% of those aged 13 to 25 said they felt lonely or isolated, despite still being in touch with friends.
The figures are staggering, and yet very often mental heath is pushed to the side or seen as secondary to physical health, especially now in times where physical health is so at risk. But what we have to realise is that mental wellbeing is just as important and just as valid. One of he most crucial things 2020 should have taught us is that the facilities in place to take care of peoples mental well being just aren’t sufficient enough. We need better and easier to access mental health care. We need to raise awareness and invest in mental health facilities. We need mental health to be taken seriously or the effects could be crushing.
And for those out there that are struggling, just know you are going to get through this and that whatever you need to do to get through is fine. For me, that just so happened to be watching ‘About Time’ too many times, listening to the Pride and Prejudice soundtrack on repeat and finding a niche interest in witchcraft-find me on the next new moon making moon water and manifesting my concerns away… Maybe not the best of coping mechanisms but if it works for you then you go and make that banana bread, crochet those jumpers and give yourself that mullet! There was a big emphasis on self improvement over lockdown-but just remember, you don’t need to have made a total transformation or learnt a new language to have succeeded. Getting through in itself is a big accomplishment! You don’t have to be at your absolute best 100% of the time.
You are doing great. And you will be OK.
This link to mentathealthmatters contains a lot of useful resources for multiple mental health problems: https://www.mhm.org.uk/pages/faqs/category/helpful-resources